I don’t understand me
…At a time when history still made its way slowly, the few events were easily remembered and woven into a backdrop, known to everyone, before which private life unfolded the gripping show of its adventures. Nowadays, time moves forward at a rapid pace. Forgotten overnight, a historic event glistens the next day like the morning dew and thus is no longer the backdrop to a narrator’s tale but an amazing adventure enacted against the background of the overfamiliar banality of private life.
come on baby, don’t let it break your heart
how long does it take for someone to be gone?
I am convinced that I’ll see you again
you’ve been away for a while
but i am certain that you’ll be back
my dad says i can have your couch
in these moments i realize you are gone
you don’t need your couch
and that is unbearable
so i think about you
and you are still so real in my mind
and i assure myself that you’re somewhere
but little things bring me back to that day
the bread i was eating when my mom told me you weren’t feeling well
my mom’s voice when she yelled “she’s collapsed”
the shirt i was wearing while desperately giving you cpr
the operator’s voice on the phone, telling me to calm down
my mom telling me to stop
your eyes that were not looking at me
like they did every single day
watching you sucked out of you
where did it go?
there was so much of you
i said to my dad on the phone, “mom-mom died”
sitting in a hospital room, looking at your body
laughter outside, because people die every day
please please please please please please please don’t let me forget what you smell like
the sound of your laugh
the way your hands look
your invented language
something about death does not fit you
